demonick.tv™

I was at Mont Kiara Starbucks on a lovely Sunday morning, with my hot cup of coffee, browsing through the internet, when suddenly a Japanese lady came up to me and ask me to help her set up her internet connection as she couldn’t seem to be able to connect to the internet. I didn’t really know what she wanted at first because she couldn’t really speak good English, but I did go over to her place and try to help her out. Guess what?…her Windows OS on her laptop is in Japanese!!! I was like “errr…ok..I will see what I can do, because I don’t know how to read Japanese..” Luckly, I was able to navigate my way through the settings (thanks to the years of experience…cheh..:p) and guessed what each button meant. I finally manage to get her connected online. However, she didn’t have a Timezone account, and she had to register for one. I helped her to register an account, but somehow, what ever you type, seems to be converted to Japanese characters! (the keyboards on her laptop are in Japanese too!!). I soon gave up in the registration process and just ask her to use my account. She then thanked me and we introduced ourselves. Believe it or not, I introduced myself in Japanese!!! “Watashi wa namewo, Nick des” She was impressed!! She then introduced herself as Connie des. Well after that she thanked me again, and we then returned to our respective places.

It was just like any other morning, the usual morning routine, being half awake and being stuck in the usual traffic jams on the way to the office. I was minding my own business stuck in the jam when I noticed a black Vios beside me. Why was it so noticable you ask? Well, it was because the driver was a young beautiful girl, which looks Japanese I might add (let’s keep it as my fantasy ok? eventhough she is not..) adjusting her bra strap and also applying lipstick with the use of her compact mirror!! She certainly caught my attention. Obviously I stared with mouth wide open. She was wearing something skimpy as well. Long black hair, fair complexion…okok, you get the picture. I was staring at her when suddenly she looked at me. For a moment I was shocked and kinda embarrass. I just turned away and pretended as if nothing happened. She went back to looking at herself on her compact and I looked again (more like gawked actually). She then looked up, and she smiled and waved at me! Being shocked and also dumbfounded for that very moment, it took my brains like 10 seconds to interpret what has just happened. I politely waved back at her with a slight grin. She did the same as well!! Whoah..I just couldn’t believe what had just happened. I was so in a dazed that I didn’t mind the whole time I was stuck in traffic. I wanted to take a picture of her with my camera, but I think that will be regarded as harrassment. I did however took down the number of her car. Hmmm…you think I should find out where she lives? Muahaha…what a way to start a morning!

I was in One Utama yesterday trying to get a bloody parking spot for nearly 30 minutes!! Note to self (and everyone else): “DO NOT GO to One Utama on Saturdays.” It’s fucking irratating and frustating if you can’t get a parking spot within 15 minutes…what more 30 minutes? Ok, so you can imagine I was happy to see an empty spot after rounding for nearly half an hour…but guess what?? There was a man standing at that spot booking it for someone. I was like “What the fuck??!! How can you do this??!” I didn’t care and turned in half way on the parking spot anyway nearly hitting the guy. I wind down my window and told him “Excuse me, but you cannot be booking this for someone, it’s not fair and its a first come first serve thing.” To which he replied in a typical ah beng accent “No no, someone is coming veli fast one.” So I just paused, and answered “Look, the person you are booking this for is obviously not anywhere close and there is a long line waiting behind, please move.” He then replied “I dun care, I came here first one, I was going around 20 minutes liao.” I told him “So? You and 100 other people have been rounding 20 minutes also. So what makes you think you can do this??” To which he just stood there and gave me a rude stare not wanting to move. I had a staring contest with him for about 30 seconds and decided a low life uneducated person like this just isn’t worth my time. I was getting ready to knock the mother fucker down you know, but decided I don’t want to make a scene, besides there were a lot of witnesses around if I do ram him over. I reversed, and showed him the finger and drove away.

So it seem you can now stand and book a parking spot. Why don’t they just make it a call in and prebook your parking kind of thing? Internet booking maybe??! This is the first time I ever came across such a thing. I was so fucking pissed off, I paid the parking, and drove out of One Utama, cancelling my appointment.

This is an actual conversation I overheard this morning over breakfast from a couple over the next table.

Girl: Bee…you love me or not?

Guy: Of course lah…then?

Girl: How much you love me?

Guy: Love you lots

Girl: How lots?

Guy: Lots lah..don’t know how to tell you…

Girl: Cheh…if you cannot tell me how much you love me then I think you don’t love me already lah..

Guy: Where got such thing one? Ok lah ok lah…love you as long as I live. If I die first also I will still love you and be your guardian angel and watch over you for as long as you live….ok?

Girl: *muaks* love you too…

The hair on my arms were standing and my Nasi Lemak and Nescafe Ice nearly came out through my nose.

Boy oh boy…what a night me and a bunch of friends had last night. We were celebrating one of my good friend’s birthday and as usual, what is a birthday without drinks and getting totally sloshed right? So anyway, there were a lot of us and we had wine and champagne (not a good combination I might add). Yes, I know, we are high class people, we don’t drink beer, or other cocktails for that matter, but let me tell you, after 4 bottles of red wine and one champange later, everyone was getting woozy. Well I had to be the responsible one and had to send one of my friend back home. So what happens next?

The person I was going to send home, was in another car as my another friend required an escort back to her place. After following her home, my friend hopped into my car feeling woozy herself too. So as I was driving on the highway..guess what??..she asked me to pull over because she wanted to puke! Damn, I was like in the middle of the highway and I couldn’t just pull over! So I panicked…and asked her to hold it in…we stopped by a petrol kiosk later for her to sober up..she then opened the door..and ‘all hell broke loose’. She was like a total goner and I had to call for backup, but guess what?? NO BACKUP…because everyone else was wasted as well! The only thing I could think of was to get another friend who joined us to come by to help as she was staying the nearest to where we were.

After nearly 1 and half hours later, we manage to get my friend back to her place safe and sound (but not after she fell into her own puke and also knocked her head several times on the car door and dashboard). It was a funny sight man. It’s kinda fun to see others in drunk mode. So many stupid things they do. What isn’t fun is if you’re the one cleaning up after them. Thank God things like this don’t happen on a weekly basis.

By the way, after all that drama, my friend didn’t remember a thing the next day…

Here is a list of stupid/embarrasing things that were done (or witness) by me and others after being drunk:

1. Jogging on an airport runway
2. End up on the bed of someone of the opposite sex without knowing how
3. Knocking on a sliding glass door, thinking that you could walk through it
4. Hugging a tyre of a car
5. Sticking your face in a toilet bowl
6. 3 girls + 2 guys + 1 king size bed…go figure
7. Driving on the wrong side of the road
8. Getting ‘graffiti’ written on your hand without you knowing
9. Puking on a mahjong table
10. Slipping over someone elses’ puke (gross!!)
11. Bumping and grinding with some stranger
12. Crying like there is no tomorrow